© TopFoto

A booksigning from the 20th November 1992 - also plugging Peacework paperback

William Topaz McGonagall, the great occasional Scottish poet, is famed throughout the far-flung reaches of the Empire, from Istanbul to Lewisham, from the Far West to Neasdon. But poor old William: no one wants his verse any longer. It's quite long enough as it is. So hte great haggis-eating, sporran-wearing bard lays down his pen and embarks on a quest to find the sex-changed Prime Minister of England.

On his travels with detectives Dr Watson and Poirot (not to mention His Holiness the Pope), he encounters the naked banjo player (and naked banjos are not ten a penny), the canary that won Crufts on sheer persistence and the fine upstanding girl with one leg who consents to marry him.

As well as unveilling fascinating facts about the life of the bard, Freefall also gives advice on how to play the bagpipes while standing in a plate of porridge during a force ten gale.        No self-respecting home should be without it.