(Sellers) Friends, pick up that bottle you will finding standing in
the centre of your dining room table
(Seacombe) Now examine it closely and read what it says on the very
small print on the back of the label
(Sellers) Note that it's contents are invaluable for pea soup,
falling ears, irritation of the nurglers, exteriminating socks
and preserving eggs
(Milligan) And that doctors strongly recommend it as a cure for the
lurgi, the on-set of the nadgers, spots before
the ankles, soft shoulders, pink toenail and
acute amounting on the legs
So ooooo (ow!)

If you're turning pimply and your knees are turning blue
Don't be nervous simply, try Eeh! Ah! Oh! Oh! Ooh!
Practice every morning and you'll find that you
Almost without warning will be Eeh! Oh! Ah! Oh! Ooh!

(Seacombe) Combat, cure infection with this latest thing
Follow the directions and PING!
(Milligan) Now the nights are colder you'll find what to do
Write on the folder: Just Eeh! Ah! Oh! Ooh!

(Sellers?) When the flame affects you, or you got the flu
You find what protects you is Eeh! Ah! Nicky! Nu!
Better than the whisky, brandy gin or glue
Makes your liver frisky does Eeh! Or! Ah! Nu!

(Milligan/Eccles) And for making company or ?????????? try some in your coffee
And ya ha ya ya ha

(Seacombe) So if you get heated, don't get ??????????
Hold your breath, be seated and Eeh! Ah! Oh!

(All) So when your out of ????? and the rent is due
Just a tiny spoonful will do
And Oh! Ah! Arg! Oh! Glug! Arg! Arc! Arg! Ooh!

[Disgusting Donkey noises]
(Sellers/Bloodnok) Oh -- Oh! that's better!