It is not very often that we are fortunate enough to meet people we idolize. In the following, Paul Rodenhuis describes what happened when he was able to meet one of his heroes, the legendary ex-Goon Spike Milligan

On Tuesday April 4th, I was in the audience of about 350 people at a book reading by Spike Milligan. It was arranged by the local book shop, and was advertised in the local press last week. I rang on Monday for a ticket was told the place was full. I rang again yesterday and was told that if I was alone, and prepared to stand at the back, it would be OK. I arrived
just before 8 p.m., and most seats were filled. There were some in the back row so I took one.

The event took place in a shopping centre; Woolworth's supermarket, book shop, coffee shop side by side. They had removed the tables from the coffee shop and filled it with chairs. The book shop had a wide selection of Spike's books on display including the latest, 'Lady Chatterley's Lover according to Spike Milligan.'

Spike arrived with his wife Sheila and a few others. They were met by the book shop proprietor and presumably publishers reps. The local paper had a photographer present to record the moment: (not too many world-renowned celebrities in Gordon, on the North
side of Sydney). As Spike was talking, the photographer lined up for a shot; Spike held his hand up. She took the shot anyway, and went over (or was called over) to Spike. He reprimanded her with 'You should have asked me first.'

Spike is 80 I think. He looked quite well, but a little doddery on his feet, i.e. shuffled a little. He wore casual clothes. He was introduced to the crowd by the book shop prop with the words "...and the publisher said 'How would you like Spike?' and I replied, 'Anyway you can
get him here.'"

Then followed a great disappointment for the people including me up the back; the PA was not very loud (OK when the proprietor spoke), but Spike spoke in a very soft voice and not close to the mike. We strained to catch a word here or there. The proprietor moved the mike
closer to his mouth, but to little effect; most of the pearls were lost. He first read some of his poems, then read from a book. All the while we strained to hear him against the Muzak (TM) and beep-beep-beeps of the scanners in the supermarket.

After about half an hour or so he finished and asked for any questions. One was 'how did he get the name Spike?' The reply (or what I could catch of it) was that it is a standard nickname for Milligan (his father was Spike too), much in the way that Taffy is a nickname for Jones, or Chalky for White. He then added 'What a boring question!'

Another question was 'What was the first thing he wrote?' He recited a limerick which he wrote in the war, something about Bedser, finishing up dead, Sir. When asked how old he was at the time, he said '23, but why do you ask? I could make it 24 if you like! Any more boring questions?'

I can't remember if there were any more. After that was the book signing. The table was set up near the back row, so at least we gained something from our position. I bought the LCatSM and brought along my 34-year-old "Dustbin of Milligan" (13/3 in 1961), as well as the five LP Goon Show set. I was about 8th in line and it must have been about 15 minutes before I was in his presence.

While waiting for this moment in my life's history, I had been chatting to (not up) the lady photographer about the reprimand she had received. I then asked if she would take my picture with him. This was done, while I chatted with him, scintillating stuff like, 'I bought this more than 30 years ago', 'how long will you be out here this time?' (till 17th April), etc., etc. Then I asked him, 'Have you heard of the Information Superhighway?' He obviously hadn't, and I tried to explain about a worldwide network of computers which people use to exchange information, how there is a newsgroup for the Goon Shows, etc. He didn't understand, thinking I was talking about Ham Radio, and made comments about sitting up in a room asking someone in China how the weather is. (I'm a Ham and have in fact done this).

He wrote with a felt tip marker, quite slowly and carefully. After doing the two books, I said 'Can I be a complete groveling bastard and ask you to sign the record set too?' 'Yes, all right', he said, 'where will I sign it?' There was a white patch on the right front side which I pointed to, but he said 'I write pretty big, there isn't enough room', so we turned it over. There are the photos of him, Peter Sellers and Harry Secombe. He signed over his photo.

At this stage, there must have been 50 or more people waiting; at the rate he was going, he would have been there a long time, or they would have had to leave without a signature.

So, I achieved what I wanted, to see the man and get his mark on my books. It would have been a bonus to have actually heard him read some of his work.